(Satire) — Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell’s proclamation declaring April Confederate History Month could lead to evidence that would further validate the theory of evolution.
As we all know, evolution is the change in the inherited traits of a population of organisms through successive generations. These changes generally lead to more complicated and more efficient forms of life, particularly in the case of human beings.
Beginning in 1981 with the election of Ronald Reagan, the Republican Party has provided evolutionary biologists a unique and novel opportunity to identify changes that have taken place in the evolution of humans since they branched off from an ancestor we have in common with the monkeys.
Scientists have discovered the social and political actions of the Republican Party during this period seem to be signposts of the evolutionary process going in reverse. In a sort of self-inflicted “reverse engineering”, the Republicans are devolving.
The scientific community is looking forward with excitement to see if the process continues and, indeed, if once begun, is it reversible.
In addition to the possible insights about evolution to be learned from studying the devolution of Republican humans, scientists anticipate profound changes in their understanding of earth sciences because the concept of devolution has hitherto been thought a biological fallacy.
And for the Republican Party, will the future show that past is truly prologue?
Photo: Formosan Macaque (Macaca cyclopis) near Buluowan, Taroko Gorge, Taiwan. Arthur Chapman/CC