Hi all, I’m Fido, a friendly mutt from Chi-town. First things first: I wanna give a big bark out to all my dawgs up in the Animal Care and Control facility — they can’t keep us all locked down forever and that’s why I’m barking.
Now I know that the real truth of the matter is that some of y’all just ain’t gonna be walking out of there, and some of ya might even deserve it like that, or want it like that given where you’ve been. But for the rest of us, who don’t deserve to go out that way, I want to let you know the fresh scoop (and I ain’t talking about poop)!
I’m telling you I barked out loud and been barking ever since I heard it. Our new president has elected to get a D.O.G — that’s one-of-you-and-me! I know dawgs, its all very exciting!!
Now settle down everyone. Quiet, you over there, I hear you barking, you old bad dog. I know most presidents have a dog. Yes, and many have two. But this here be different.
Why? Well because some people say this man, Barack Obama, he’s a mutt like us. Well, most of us. Yes, you’re right, President-elect Obama is different, hopefully.
There’s a lot of talk about who will be the lucky dog, I’m not too old, and if I got brushed and bathed enough nobody would be allergic to me. I’m a bit rough when I play, but I’m smart, and will only do my business outside. But most likely it won’t be me. You either, Jack! But here’s the real exciting thing: because everybody likes this guy so much, maybe, maybe, they’ll want to get a dog too! Sure some people will get those purebred and designer dogs, but in these tough times, the smart money on us.
We are just a better value, healthier, smarter, better protectors, and nowadays everybody needs protection. So my hunch is with this energy crisis, most of these people are gonna see that your average mutt is a good buy.
What! What is that you’re saying about the humans? We don’t need them? They’re not very nice to us? Oh is that Kujo? I understand where you’re coming from, dawg. You’ve had it rough, you made do for a long time and did all right by yourself. And now, you’re here in the pound and well it’s all a bit much for you. I understand.
You don’t know any better, you don’t know how it can be. Some of us have had nice homes, warm beds, fences to bark at intruders from, space to run around. Maybe one day soon all of us will have people to care for, to take out on walks so they can be healthy, to cheer up when they’ve had a long day, to protect from fire, intruders, rodents, and to save in a million different ways.
When I was a pup, I heard it this way: ever since there have been dogs, humans have been around for us to look after. It’s the way it was intended, dogs do as dogs do. They need us and perhaps we need them.
What does that have to do with this guy getting a new dog? Well Tiny, I’ll tell you. He’s says it’s a different time now.
Different how? Well now is a time to set things right, he says. There are a lot of possibilities. Some people say he’s gonna make changes, because he’s different. You’re right though Lassie, one person can’t change the system.
But does that mean that the system can’t change? Maybe if two, three, four, millions are different maybe that will be enough for us all to be like Lucky. Look, he’s leaving right now, in a real nice car. Dawg, I’m telling ya, I’m gonna be like Lucky, with a bone and a home of my own. Let’s just keep barking so they know We Are Coming.
Translated by Brandi Lea Kishner (email@example.com), a writer who owns a dog care service on Chicago’s South Side.