Kerry cites Top 10 Bush tax proposals

NEW YORK (AP) — Democrat John Kerry joked on “The Late Show with David Letterman” about changes under President Bush’s tax plan, including that Vice President Dick Cheney can claim the president as a dependent.

Besides reading his “Top 10” list, Kerry also poked fun at the tedious debate negotiations between the rival campaigns. Kerry said he wanted running mate John Edwards to stand in the vice presidential debate, but Cheney wanted to sit. “We compromised and now George Bush is going to sit on Dick Cheney’s lap,” he said.

Kerry’s “Top 10 Bush Tax Proposals” are:

10. No estate tax for families with at least two U.S. presidents.

9. W-2 Form is now Dubya-2 Form.

8. Under the simplified tax code, your refund check goes directly to Halliburton.

7. The reduced earned income tax credit is so unfair, it just makes me want to tear out my lustrous, finely groomed hair.

6. Attorney General (John) Ashcroft gets to write off the entire U.S. Constitution.

5. Texas Rangers can take a business loss for trading Sammy Sosa.

4. Eliminate all income taxes; just ask Teresa (Heinz Kerry) to cover the whole damn thing.

3. Cheney can claim Bush as a dependent.

2. Hundred-dollar penalty if you pronounce it “nuclear” instead of “nucular.”

1. George W. Bush gets a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.