After 500 years, Copernicus is forgiven

Materialists, take heart! Hard-bound idealistic religious leaders may be giving ground! At least, according to the Associated Press, they are giving enough ground to re-bury Nicolas Copernicus, who pissed them off over 500 years ago by demonstrating that the Earth is round and rotates around the Sun.

As historians tell it, Copernicus was a very smart fellow. He was smart enough to figure out that the flat-worlders were full of it, and he was smart enough to know they would probably strip, gag, and burn him to death as they did Giordano Bruno, for the same offense, in 1600. The wily Pole hid his findings underneath his bed so that the truth would only be told after he was safely gone (1543).

His bones lay safe from the wrath that burned Bruno and put a 400-year church curse on telescope-operator Galileo Galilei until a Polish Bishop named Jacek Jezierski dug him up and re-interred him May 22 in a style more in keeping with his tremendous contribution to the renaissance of materialist science.

The contribution of Copernicus was only denounced for a mere 500 years, so there may be hope for evolution’s Charles Darwin, today’s environmentalists, and even Karl Marx, someday!

Photo: From a copper engraving of Nicolas Copernicus.  (Public domain)