To: Republican leaders
From: Karl
Re: Continuing to rule the world through fear, war and loathing

The 2004 elections are upon us and the following is the strategy that everyone must follow, or else.

We have done poll after poll and found that the more fear we create, the better W and the GOP look. So we will use NYC and Sept. 11 to launch our quickstep march to the White House and Congress.

The only roadblock to this march we foresee is if there are any more demonstrations. It seems that fear and loathing fade away when all those people get together and demand those socialistic programs like peace or civil rights or health care or workers’ rights.

Some of these people are just naïve. So we have to make them see the evil of their ways and show how they are serving terrorists when they make such demands. All actions that can foment division and fear should be encouraged. We have some sponsors who can help. Contact Clear Channel for details.

Even though the war in Iraq created a lot of fear and loathing, skyrocketing W in the polls, it still isn’t enough. Therefore, we will, once again, use domestic crimes to push our agenda. If there is a particularly heinous crime, get out there and demand a crackdown. Don’t worry about the Constitution or that damn Bill of Rights.

We are forming a new kind of government anyway. One with a co-presidency, of course. Do you think George could have gone to war without me? Could he have been elected without me? Could he have been governor of Texas without me? No. No. And no. “Of the people, by the people, for the people” is a lot of drivel from that Lincoln guy – god, I can’t believe he was a Republican.

I digress. Particularly good hooks to foment division and fear are race and gender.

I will call your attention to the Laci Peterson murder. This is a perfect example of making a crime into a rallying call for something on our agenda. In this case: fetal protection rights, which will undermine the legal underpinnings of that evil decision, Roe v. Wade. I’ll call your attention to the following AP story. Note the skill Ari uses to not comment on the case, yet get to the essence of our agenda with the crime as the backdrop:

“The White House urged Congress today to make it a federal crime to harm a fetus during an assault on its mother.

“Ari Fleischer, the White House spokesman, would not comment on the Peterson case. But asked if it was appropriate for Mr. Peterson to be charged with two murders, Mr. Fleischer said the president believed that ‘when an unborn child is injured or killed during the commission of a crime of violence, the law should recognize what most people immediately recognize, and that is that such a crime has two victims.’”

If there isn’t a heinous crime to foment division and fear, in order to push our agenda, don’t worry. We are beginning our terror-alert drills.

DeLay is working on a masterful redistricting plan. But those damn Texas Chicken “D’s” – who do they think they are? I know what they did is terroristic. I was scared to death. I don’t need to be scared by defiant Democrats – we need to strike the fear of God into them and anyone who dares to go against us. Revenge is mine, sayeth the … oh sorry, I digress again.

I will only remind you that in order for us, I mean, US to be globally dominant we need to recapture the White House and Congress, allowing us to keep hold of that judiciary for years to come. So remember (or else), the way to win in 2004 is with more: More war, more fear and more loathing.

Terrie Albano is the associate editor of the People’s Weekly World and can be reached at talbano@pww.org