The Republican Party does have a platform

 The Republican Party of “NO” has been accused of having no platform, no plan. That is not accurate. The following are the 38 “covert” planks that defines the GOP.

1. Cut taxes for the rich. Enable the wealthy to increase their wealth.

2. Cut social spending. Social programs for the disadvantaged do not enrich or advantage the advantaged.

3. Destroy unions. The unions created the middle class. The wealthy class does not intend to share with the middle class.

4. Outsource jobs. Send American industry overseas. This further destroys unions and foreign slave labor is profitable.

5. Deregulate business. Regulations or rules prevent capitalistic gouging. Gouging the economy, the consumer, the people is profitable.

6. Privatize everything. Enable corporations to profit, unimpeded by governmental competition.

7. Cut big government. Big government is a big threat to profiteering. Regulations and oversight impedes profits.

8. Support law and order. Hold the disadvantaged down so they do not pose a threat to the wealthy’s wealth and property.

9. Secure (close) the border. Keep immigrants (Mexicans) out. Mexicans who become citizens vote Democratic.

10. Increase the Social Security collection age. Hope that the retired worker dies before she collects what she put in. Social Security does not further enrich the wealthy.

11. Hike Social Security taxes. Make the worker pay more into a retirement fund that he will hopefully not live long enough to collect.

12. Privatize Social Security. Create a gravy train for the Wall Street profiteers. Allow the banksters to gamble away retirery’s subsistence.

13. Privatize Medicare and Medicaid. Provide vouchers to the helpless and elderly with which they must grovel, hat in hand, to the big insurance companies. Big insurance will get much bigger. This is an untapped gold mine of corporate profits.

14. Perpetuate a state of war. Create eternal enemies abroad. Institutionalize hatred and fear. Nothing is more profitable to Fortune 500 companies than military contracts.

15. Increase military spending. Increase military contracts. Privatize the military and warfare. Nothing is more profitable.

16. Adopt Obstructionism. Promote misery. Destroy any attempt at recovery or relief by voting “NO” on everything. Miserable people are too frustrated to vote, or vote for the party out of power.

17. Religiocize Capitalism. Write it into the Constitution. Make private property, profit and exploitation a commandment from God.

18. Harness Hate. Pander to the loco fringe, the Tea Party, the right “Wingnuts.” Maintain deniability. Spread their message, utilize their support, but disassociate from their nonsense.

19. Satanize Islam. Generate fear and hate by associating Muslims with al Qaeda and the Democrats. Constantly remind the public that the president’s middle name is Hussein. Prey on prejudice.

20. Criminalize abortion. Save babies (read: save tax dollars) by not funding abortions and throwing disadvantaged mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters into prisons. We the wealthy will abort our daughter’s bastards safely, privately, discretely. We will appear sanctimonious, and will appease our fundamentalist supporters.

21. Legitimize all lobbying. Deregulate and institutionalize political bribery. Elevate lobbying to the fourth branch of government. Protect this lucrative welfare source, perhaps with a constitutional amendment.

22. Support the “Old Boy’s Network.” Keep the club small, private, and exclusive. Qualification depends on wealth, name, race, and conservatism.

23. Defend inherited wealth to the death! Conservative power depends on conserving the wealth. Block all inheritance taxation. Rename the “inheritance” tax the “death” tax. After all, everyone dies. By all means, preserve the “lucky sperm club.”

24. Lionize business, demonize labor. Business is an asset. Labor is a liability. Business represents profit. Labor represents loss.

25. Denigrate the opposition. Portray all who support peace, the poor, fairness, and egalitarianism as traitors, radicals, terrorists, levelers, anarchists, jihadists, Satanists.

26. Oppose gay marriage. Republican core values are based in conservative Christian fundamentalism. Also, gay individuals tend to be liberal. Liberals tend to vote Democratic.

27. Support Israel right or wrong. Ignore any Israeli outrage, injustice or atrocity. After all, Jewish people and fundamentalist Christians are the Biblical “chosen people.”

28. Promote super-patriotism. Distract the masses from the economic disparity by waving the flag. Make the people feel grateful to live in this capitalistic paradise.

29. Support tradition over innovation. Tradition conserves the status quo (economic inequality and injustice). Innovation will result in economic egalitarianism and redistribution.

30. Support family values. Toleration of alternative lifestyles is a liberal concept that will upset the status quo, and benefit the liberal (Democratic) opposition. Also, the family values the woman as mother, not competitor in the business world.

31. Suppress compassion. Characterize caring as liberal sentimentalism. Dehumanize the homeless. Equate unemployment with laziness. Shame welfare. Compassion may generate a demand for social spending.

32. Delegitimize the president. Question his American citizenship. Cast doubt on his right to serve. Create a perception that the Black president is not “one of us.” Pander to the “birthers.”

33. Bash public schools and teachers. Teachers are liberal because they are educated. Liberal education opens, liberates the mind. Liberated minds oppose greed and economic disparity. Too, teachers are a unionized Democratic block.

34. Promote school prayer. Misuse of prayer as a social opiate to produce docile, passive citizens. For it is written, the meek shall inherit NOTHING!

35. Endorse closet racism. “Colored” people procreate alarmingly. Keep them as a cheep labor pool.

36. Derail gun control. Pander to the National Rifle Association, white supremacist, and the “cowboy” element of society. Ignore the terror that illegal guns have wreaked in our inner cities.

37. Promote Francophobia. Mock the French. Fear the French, and British, and Canadians, and Scandinavians, and all the enlightened nations that provide universal health care and Socialized social programs. The demand, the virus might spread here!

38. Maintain the Big Lie. Misrepresent the Republican Party. Keep this platform secret. If the masses know what we really stand for, they will vote their economic interests, and the Republican Party will be consigned to the trash bin of history.

Photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sylvar/274843113/sizes/o/